Never Forget Why

I'm 50 years old, a statement that never actually resonates for me and I always feel like I'm lying.  I definitely don't feel 50, except when all my health problems kick in, at which point I feel like I'm 80.

Twas the Night Before Surgery


I'm having lap band surgery because I'm morbidly obese, and it's becoming harder and harder to walk around.  I want to write about what life was like before the band, so I never forget.

I had GERD so bad that at night when I would lie down to sleep, the stomach acid would often come roaring up my throat and I would wake up feeling as though I was drowning.  This would set off my asthma, at night and also all day long and I couldn't breathe.  I had to carry a portable nebulizer wherever I went.

My knees, back and ankles hurt so much that in the last 6 months, I had to give up squaredancing, and actually I stopped walking places and drove instead.   I stopped going to see people, too, because everything was hurting so much.

I could never tell what clothes would fit.  Honestly, I felt as though I would wake up and be 5 pounds heavier randomly.  I felt as tho the weight gain made no sense.   Clothes I had bought the night before would not fit in the morning when I would try and wear them to work.

I was hungry all the time, including 20 minutes after I finished eating.  I would try and diet and it was torture.  Yet if I ate, since my stomach was full, I would feel ill.  And I would crave ridiculous things, like chocolate zingers, and then I would eat them and my stomach would hurt.  And my guts would hurt too.